Family

Woke up today to another string of nagging from my mom... it's the usual... it's been the usual for about a month now.... OK, it's not like this every single day, but almost.... it's bad enough. Basically, it's always about me coming back late... and mind you, her concept of late is anything beyond 10pm.... about me going out everyday.....

There were times i felt like snapping back at her.... i'm in my early twenties.. isn't it ok for me to be out most days? I'm big enough... some pri sch kids dun even have to report home before 10pm!

But i'm glad i held back my tongue.... A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger -Proverbs 15:1...

Today, it happened again..... and when my mom nags.... she doesn't juz go on and on.... she makes hurtful remarks.... i quietly finished up my breakfast and went upstairs. She left the house.

Sitting down, i reflected....

Guess i can't reallie blame her.... i mean... all that she said was true.... even though i din mean to, i guess i've taken her for granted many times. I asked myself why.... why couldn't i have disciplined myself to stay home some days... to appease her?

I sat down and wrote her a note of apology...... i tried to explain.. then paused... what could i say?

In the end, i said that i juz simply needed to keep busy, cos if not, my thoughts would wander.... and i shared with her a bit that it hasn't been easy at all, these past two months, and it's worse, having to pretend that everything was ok.

I reallie din want my mom to know..... i think my dad's gonna know too.... i'd rather deal with my feelings on my own, rather than have them worried.....

Sigh... it's a reallie bad start to a new day.... but i dun blame my mom.... i know i've been a bad testimony at home..... i love my family.... and if The Lord calls me home today, the one regret i'd have is not being able to see my family's salvation...

Lord, forgive me for not being a faithful servant..... help me to be Your Living Word... at home, at work, with my friends....

bored...

Am typing this at work... time seems to pass ever so slowly.... when's it gonna be 4.30pm? I wonder why i am here.... there's nothing for me to do, no meetings to attend.. but.... here i am... stuck in a place that i have no wish to be in.......

It's the holidays... at least for the kids.... well, guess it's a breather for me as well. It's been quite a taxing year... got a handful of challenging kids. Many pple have asked if i'd stay in this line of work for long, and i dun reallie know how to answer them.

I like my job... i think it's reallie fulfilling, looking at the smiles on the kids' faces when they finally grasp a difficult concept, being greeted in the morning by them, having them come up to you to tell you their sorry, and to ask you not to be angry... receiving "thank you" notes from them at the end of the year...

On the other hand, they are things i dun like about my job... like all the extra duties we have....

Guess it is the same with any other job... there's always the good and tha bad...

And so, i think i'll leave my decision (whether or not i'd be in this line for long) to the next 1 and a half years...

fun wif beads

The above are picts of the earrings Ady n i stayed up til 5am to make.... nice ehz? =p They were for our cell grp sisters' Shanghai mission trip fundraising. The last time i tried my hand at making earrings was a year ago, before Ady left for UK... and now she's back, and we're making earrings again! =)

Time reallie flies... it has been a year.... lots have happened in this past year.... a romance which failed, a ministry i no longer have..... many ups and downs in between..... this year was supposed to have been set apart for God.... and yet, i had lost focus... AGAIN.

When can my heart finally be settled? When can i finally learn to be satisfied with all the blessings i already have? When can i learn to let go of all my hopes and desires, and learn to entrust everything to God?

Lord, help me to keep my eyes on You... You who never change...

Bad driving experience, sushi n Timbre

Shar n i at this quaint Sakae outlet at Capitol.
Shar n i looking reallie silly taking a picture of our reflection at Sakae... notice the plate of sushi whizzing by....





Okie, so here's me.....picture taken at Timbre on Wednesday. It was a nice night, despite it being a little damp with the rain earlier on. Our moods weren't the tiniest bit dampened though, as we made our way to Timbre.

Hmmz, even though i must say that i was quite peeved before i met the gals. Was driving towards Beach Rd when i met this rude woman.... i've never had a nasty encounter while driving before, so it's a first.

I was coming down ECP, past Suntec and had to filter to the left lane so i can make a left turn toward Stamford Rd. It was a continuous flow of traffic, so i could not filter. But when the lights turned red, i saw my opportunity. there was a merging lane, and i knew i could squeeze in... so i did, in front of this black Getz.... but as i inched forward, she did too, and we both did this for a while. Juz as my car was almost wholly in front of hers, she blared her horns... i turned to look and she wind down her windows and yelled at me "what's your problem?!?!!!!"

I was taken aback. Never have i been shouted at like that in public..... and come on, she was waiting for the lights, there was space for me to filter, why couldn't she graciously juz give me some room? And she didn't even have to make the left turn. When the lights turned green, she juz zoomed on straight ahead!

I was reallie reallie peeved. Really. I had almost wanted to wind down my window and yell back at her, not to mention that i had to fight the urge of screaming a string of vulgarities.... B****!
Had to pray real hard.

Well, had a talk with God as i continued my way down to meet Shar.... and my blood stopped boiling. Been quite bad-tempered of late, and it's something i need to curb.

Alrite, enough about that bad moment.... Took many picts at Timbre, but can only show a few here as the rest are in K's camera. Will upload the rest later.

In the beginning...

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth..... no, i'm not gonna type out the whole of Genesis here.... to all who are actually reading this humble o blog of mine, welcome to my lil haven....

Why in the world did i start this blog? I have absolutely no idea.. perhaps it's a space for me to think and reflect.... somewhere i can ramble non-stop and carry on my monologues, as Ady would put it.... or somewhere i can deposit my thots so that i no longer have to rely on paperback journals which take up shelf space.... i dunno....

In the first ,place, i never understood why people blog. Are not diaries meant to be private? Why would we want to broadcast our thots and lives to strangers? And so, i've resisted blogs.... until recently, when i've discovered more of my friends blogging, and i must admit, though i still don't understand the rationale of blogging, i do enjoy reading blogs.

And now.... i'm in it! Some may say inevitable, since i'm already an avid reader of blogs.... anyway, shan't ramble on this topic anymore.

Today...
Went for my last Lindy Hop beginner's class... it was fun, more people turned up this week, and there were more guys. Can't wait for the intermediate class to start... getting into the swing of things =)

Met Ady to pass her dvds.... met for coffee at ecp, but ended up at the lagoon hawker centre cos i had a craving for popiah. It's crazy how i have such cravings.... it's been a week, and i haven't had it yet! Ended up eating fried oyster egg and sambal stingray instead... cos i remembered the popiah at ecp isn't very appetising.

Feel so full now..... went for a short walk after supper.... it was a nice breezy night... i can laze by the beach all day..... if i ever had one wish... it's to have a nice beach house.... what's better than waking up in the morning, taking in the fresh sea breeze, hearing the waves roll in gently.... and at night, it gets better with the skies lit up by numerous stars, and planes flying by ever once in a while.....

alrite... enuff about the beach.... that's all for my first blog... check back later!